when you finally get home after holding in a fart
my blueberry muffin looks exactly like my dog I’m gonna cry
if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough
I think I’m really sick I slept for a solid like 9 hours but was in bed for like 11 I just kept waking up in a hot sweaty mess. I’m off to work and I could do with another 6 hours sleep. Feel gross.